She was afraid. She shivered in fear.
“I won’t do it.” She thought in her most stern voice.
“And no one can make me.”
That’s when she heard a garbled voice come from no
where.
“Gagglele gah, gah, GAH!”
She turned and looked at her son. His innocent eyes
looked into hers, so trusting. His smile warmed her
like sunbeams. Then she went cold again.
“I won’t do it.”
The girl walked from the crib, ignoring her son’s
earsplitting protests. She lifted her chin and looked
down her nose at her reflection. The bruises had gone
from purple to a tan kind of color. She rubbed her
neck softly. Even that feather touch made her wince,
though from memory more than pain.
Her husband had attacked her again the other night. It
had been so long, almost six months, since he’d done
it, that she’d really begun to believe that part of
her life was over. What a joke. Here were the
footprints to prove she’d been walked on again.
The argument had started over things that made no
sense. He’d been angry with her for crying. He’d been
furious that she was sad.
It happened fast. One minute she was sobbing, “Why
don’t you care? Why are you angry that I’m sad?”
The next moment she was sideways on the ground. Her
neck was pinned to floor by his forearm. She was
choking! Breath was fading away. The dark room was
growing darker.
Then just as suddenly the incredible pressure on her
neck was gone. Her lungs were assailed with a wave of
cold air as her body took over breathing
instinctively. She was in shock. She felt like she was
floating or dreaming awake. She heard voices.
“ Oh, God. Don’t act like you were really hurt.”
“I’m just afraid one day I’ll get a call from the
hospital telling me you’re hurt or dead.”
“He’d never do that, Mom. He wouldn’t kill me.”
“I didn’t want to leave you. I just couldn’t live with
HIM anymore.”
“You are such a drama queen. Get off the floor.”
The voices kept coming, floating through her mind and
weaving together in a loose tapestry. Figures,
blood-red, stood against the black garment behind her
eyelids.
She opened her eyes, wincing as light washed
everything around her in fuzzed outlines. She looked
forward at a map. It held on it many paths, deeply
etched into its surface. Then the image sharpened and
she stared at her reflection.
Her son garbled in the background again.
Her husband walked behind her, his face appearing
beside hers like a grinning ghost. Ignoring her
healing wounds, he ran his fingers over the vein
pulsing in her neck. Another shiver ran up her body.
Her son cried out louder.
She turned and shut the door to drown the cries, then,
dropping the robe on her shoulders to the floor, fell
into her profane love.
This really discribes the agony of one who lives with abuse every day and still loves the one who abuses. Great imagery. I felt like I was standing in the room with the story unfolding in front of me. Keep writing! It helps you work through the struggles in life and the memories of the past!
Its been so long since I've
Its been so long since I've read this and it still tears at my heart. I'm so sorry for everything that you went through. I know writing has been your outlet but I'm here if you ever need to talk. I love you sissy!