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It's difficult to explain.

All that I learned in this 25th year. 

Mostly because I don’t understand 

The lessons fully myself yet. 

But I will try to put it into words for you

And in doing so, put words to it for me. 

The first is just how hard it is to forgive. 

Sure time helps, as small things are forgotten 

Or as one comes to realize their triviality. 

Other things however, cannot be forgotten. 

It was this year that I felt truly betrayed 

For the first time and that betrayal 

Awoke something deep and hateful. 

It wasn’t until I saw how they could not 

Hold my gaze, and how deep the shame went 

That I truly forgave and put that thing to bed. 

Until that point apologies and promises 

Meant less than nothing to me. 

It was also in that moment that I learned 

How poisonous resentment is for the soul. 

To carry that seething anger with you 

Everyday and to feel it begin to boil over 

Is something I wish to never shoulder again. 

The second thing I learned is how difficult 

It can be to keep making the choice 

To do the right thing even if it is harder,

But also that choosing to walk uphill

Rather than down gets easier every time 

You come to those junctions on your path. 

Sometimes though it can be vexing 

To know for sure which trail goes up 

And which goes down and a few times 

I took a left when I should’ve taken a right. 

So I’ve grown to trust my instincts 

And to rely on my notions on wrong and right. 

In the end, I realized if I were to lose my sense

Of direction all I need to do is backtrack 

And begin anew with the knowledge I gained. 

I’m relieved now that my conscience was 

Was enough to wake me from complacency. 

The third thing l’ve learned is that really 

I know very little and I have so much to learn.
I suppose life humbles us in that way

Here and there, and I’m grateful and excited.

I’ve come to see that I know a little about a lot, 

A lot about little, and I hope to stop treading 

Shallow pools and to have the courage to swim 

Where I cannot feel or see the bottom. 

Well, I guess it wasn't so difficult after all.