There's a reason why I told you my secrets
The direction to which the gears within me turn
The many things that I see when I'm not well
Every little crumbling tribute I've made or broken
It's because, I was sure you wouldn't understand it all
I haven't seen an honest daylight in the last two years
As soon as I awaken, I begin to fall asleep again
I can hear that familiar fluorescent buzzing
When I'm forced to stand tall, fake most of my smiles
And then finally relax in a cool, darkened room
Just like yesterday
Being force-fed daily has taught me a few things
To expect the worst of people isn't quite enough
Whether or not you want to, you'll become a variable
As expendable as a common bit of clutter or waste
I may as well remove all of the fingers on my right hand
I may as well be electricuted, become patient without choice
Wouldn't it be ironic
I haven't been able to stop myself from staring
By now, I don't even see any goals still in the distance
At a steady pace, I'm losing what I felt obligated to rely on
You've never seen eyes as dead as these
In phase one I prepared myself, though I didn't really believe
Phase two had me worried, I couldn't find a way around it
And now as I'm cemented in phase three
I've accepted what I wasn't meant to be
It's no longer sitting right in front of me
So I'll be gentle as I let my dreams fly free
I forget where I am and what I speak of
More often then not I lose track of how I see myself
I used to see myself as a genuinely good person
But lately I've been picturing too many things to believe it
I suppose I'm just a person
One of the many
The many who can't seem to find a new way to motivate
To cultivate their skills and talents for something worthy
And I used to think that I had such a future ahead of me
Funny how we change so drastically, eh?