Enlightenment

There's a reason why I told you my secrets

The direction to which the gears within me turn

The many things that I see when I'm not well

Every little crumbling tribute I've made or broken

It's because, I was sure you wouldn't understand it all

I haven't seen an honest daylight in the last two years

As soon as I awaken, I begin to fall asleep again

I can hear that familiar fluorescent buzzing

When I'm forced to stand tall, fake most of my smiles

And then finally relax in a cool, darkened room

Just like yesterday

Being force-fed daily has taught me a few things

To expect the worst of people isn't quite enough

Whether or not you want to, you'll become a variable

As expendable as a common bit of clutter or waste

I may as well remove all of the fingers on my right hand

I may as well be electricuted, become patient without choice

Wouldn't it be ironic

I haven't been able to stop myself from staring

By now, I don't even see any goals still in the distance

At a steady pace, I'm losing what I felt obligated to rely on

You've never seen eyes as dead as these

In phase one I prepared myself, though I didn't really believe

Phase two had me worried, I couldn't find a way around it

And now as I'm cemented in phase three

I've accepted what I wasn't meant to be

It's no longer sitting right in front of me

So I'll be gentle as I let my dreams fly free

I forget where I am and what I speak of

More often then not I lose track of how I see myself

I used to see myself as a genuinely good person

But lately I've been picturing too many things to believe it

I suppose I'm just a person

One of the many

The many who can't seem to find a new way to motivate

To cultivate their skills and talents for something worthy



And I used to think that I had such a future ahead of me

Funny how we change so drastically, eh?






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