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It Might Have Been
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October 2010 It seems we are friends with benefits, with nothing beneficial about us,
a kiss happens only when we're intoxicated, sometimes we even prove our distrust,
we felt enough of each other, we kissed enough of each other,
when i kissed your cheek you looked and smiled, i felt too much it started to bother.
It was a smile that will haunt me, a night that will never leave my thoughts,
even for those not searching, it all ends up for naught,
knotted and twisted, jaded and confused,
i was forced to be colder, just so my heart wouldn't be subject to more abuse.
Yet those moments when we were looking into each others eyes,
maybe i am romanticizing a bit, you were more for rubbing your thighs,
there i was sitting next to you, a moment i thought we would never share,
i said how much you suck enough times, but intoxicated words never deserve a care.
I built up walls to keep out the emotions, but i kept out all the happiness and joy,
now my nights are my mornings, noontime has become my waking hour, that night starts to emotionally destroy,
i sleep and i am unafraid, i'm awake and i'm fearful and paranoid,
you injected me yet again with a lethal dose of it might have been.
IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN
A beautifully written poem. Sometimes we close the door too quickly. Build walls too high. No one can climb over them. We remain cold and unloved.