PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

is my biggest issue on the stand



the fact that i want what i want on demand



or the fact that i've changed and no one sees



the vast diversity of my beliefs



i dare not show what's going on



since it never truly matters who's right or wrong



the simple fact is things don't belong



in the path of this woman who's forced to be strong



i've seen alot of foulness and lived through pain



been the only one standing out in the rain



that poured so hard til it was a screen



that gave me a mentality so serene



i describe what i know and am  misunderstood



for refusing to jump out my haven in the hood



by folks who simply want my spot



but can't handle the heat when the block gets hot



they learn bits and pieces of what they call my life



criticize me for continuing to be his wife



when all they do is give their souls



giving out pussies with remote controls



i once took a vow that i cannot dismiss



and sealed it with a great big kiss



3 witnesses the fruit of it



2 tossed into a cold dirt pit



the one who lives, i try to teach



we're surounded by haters so i can't reach



these arms that wrap a stranger in love



familiars disrespect and sink above



i try to understand how my life is better



by constantly writing myself love letters



that open my eyes to the wrongs in my way



that i try to correct day after day



i sit in the dark writng to me



i walk in the night i cry to sleep



i been filled with wisdom and i try to share



with those who don't listen and don't even care



i make steps to move but the plaster is drying



i reject the wrong way of living and dying



i can't share my core for that is my life



if told you more it wouldn't suffice



my brain overflows with joy and with pain



my heart's overwhelmed with who i became



i open my lips to share all the good



the bad is what's heard and misunderstood



i shook loose my friends so i'd have a choice



and now it's my family who's deaf to my voice



accused of stupidity for doing what's best



stripped of fluidity to support them no rest



my soul feels weary, this stress on my chest



as i try and decipher what to do next



i never believed her when she used to say



one day you will miss me while you're on your way



the closest ones to you, they hate you the most



when you're feeling down they'll drink and they'll toast



i knew it was true just never how deep



so i simply stay quiet as i write and weep



we're only apart by less than a year



but when ever she cries i wipe every tear



why my life goes wrong i am scolded and torn



why hate on me cuz i was first born



i learned that love is to be given a chance



even if you're tooo tired to have the last dance



that doesn't make me dumb



for behaving numb to allow a fool to prove they're a bum



that silly ring i wore is the real reason why



i lay as his whore and continue to cry



they were his kids too and part of him died



when no one who cared would help me to try



no one who lives would ever "get over"



having their life pased through a lawn mower



i live with a soul inside this shell



it's no longer my life if i constantly tell



and even though now i suffer with grief



not from my loss,but from disbelief



it is not ever what happened but only the way



that things are transpiring everyday



i know how he is and family too



but i still love you all no matter what we go through



i don't live my life by tic for tac



and i am not sister theresa so what ever i lack



i will get for me and all who're around



so quit trying to force me into the ground



if i traded my security to pass it along



i'd still be told i did something wrong



to give it to someone who more selfish than i



to give it to someone who won't even try



unless it's destruction or whys and goodbyes



i took all the tests i await my rewards



why step out the way of what i am moving towards



why tell me i can't, when it's proven i will



why stomp on my heart and try to kill



my very essence is pure though i play



never confuse me with who you wish i'd portray



i look like a victim cuz i'm laying low



real close to the clay so the potter can show



when He does it for me, He's done a great thing



rebuilding this woman releasing my chains



i've lessons to learn that i won't grip high up



excess baggage to burn for when He fills my cup



and it overflows and rolls out when i speak from my heart



the truths I was shown when i felt ripped apart



i married someone who loves to have things



even I was a thing or so he thinks



told me he loved me and showed me a ring



stifled my life where i couldn't even sing



my twin who 'loves' me was jealous of me



and the nothing i had that she couldn't see



just tore me down to benefit her



since she sees things the way they were



it's all my fault for hiding the change



cuz i was afraid to rearrange



and regroup the acquaintances who mean me no harm



away from the ones whose lies have no charm



i know what i need to do, but i start to grieve



thinking of all i must let go of to recieve



the unknown, but better that's laid out for me



thinking of  how my people are my seed



i finally let go of smoking the weed



that made me forget all my personal needs



engulfed in envy and surrounded by greed



of hard headed people who see but don't heed



i'm walking on eggshells some broke i fell through



trying to live like the others do



i have a few secrets up my sleeve



besides the fact that i truly believe



the fact that i'm mum is construed as my demise



but sometimes silence flows through the wise



how can i transform by speaking a path



when i don't hold the pencil to do the math