Crying
Feeling like a waste of space
Holding a razor
Feeling my heart race
I don't want to cut
I don't want to go down this path
But I put the blade to my skin
And you do the math
I don't do a clean slit
I like to feel the pain
I slowly scrape at my skin
Until the blood falls like rain
I close my eyes
I take a deep breath
This is my addiction
Like a druggie needs meth
When I open my eyes
The pain is gone
But I know its only temporary
And I'll feel everything again come dawn
But for now
I can enjoy
Its like a reset button
New batteries were added to this toy
I can smile again
Like the daily doll I have to be
My face is painted on
Happy for the world to see
High functioning depression
It really takes a toll
I'm strong for everyone else
When inside my heart is burnt like cole
I light myself on fire
To keep everyone else warm
Freezing internally
And never feeling torn
I'd always give all of me
So I never burden any of you
But when will someone hear
"I'm fine" really isn't true
I guess I want help
I want someone to save me
But I'll never ask
So I'll never be free
My ball and chain is small
Tied to this blade
But you will never know
Because I'll never let my painted smile fade