Doll

Crying

Feeling like a waste of space

Holding a razor

Feeling my heart race

 

I don't want to cut

I don't want to go down this path

But I put the blade to my skin

And you do the math

 

I don't do a clean slit 

I like to feel the pain

I slowly scrape at my skin

Until the blood falls like rain

 

I close my eyes

I take a deep breath

This is my addiction 

Like a druggie needs meth

 

When I open my eyes

The pain is gone

But I know its only temporary 

And I'll feel everything again come dawn

 

But for now

I can enjoy

Its like a reset button

New batteries were added to this toy

 

I can smile again

Like the daily doll I have to be

My face is painted on

Happy for the world to see

 

High functioning depression 

It really takes a toll

I'm strong for everyone else

When inside my heart is burnt like cole

 

I light myself on fire

To keep everyone else warm

Freezing internally 

And never feeling torn

 

I'd always give all of me

So I never burden any of you

But when will someone hear

"I'm fine" really isn't true

 

I guess I want help

I want someone to save me

But I'll never ask

So I'll never be free

 

My ball and chain is small

Tied to this blade

But you will never know

Because I'll never let my painted smile fade

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

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