Echoes of My Mind

Folder: 
2004

My mind is ill

there is no cure

Insanity has

tightened its grip

on my brain

Once I knew but now

the light is gone

So many questions

so few answers

I cannot live

among the dead

We are all dead

It is too late.

Why do we live?

The unrelenting darkness

is inside my head

obscuring the light

Death is all I see

My dreams haunt me

My mind kills me

slowly draining the

life out of me

this is not me

I died a long

time ago

My mind is empty

and my soul has

fallen into eternal slumber

My heart has frozen

never to be warmed

I am but a shadow

of what I once was

Is this my fate?

To die a thousand deaths

each day?

I die

my bloody death

once more

I walk the lonely streets

at night

wondering if tomorrow

will come before

Death's arms pull me to

my lonely grave again

I ask the midnight moon

and speechless stars

but recieve no answer

no voice to guide me

from above

There is no god

Truth- it still evades me

though I can see it

through the blinding fog

just beyond my fingertips

Oh if only I could reach...

but it is too far

and the night is so dark

Puposeless

continual existence

Just breathing in air

but there is no meaning

Is there no meaning?

I am searching

under the mindless

midnight moon

smiling in the sky

I cannot reach

I am too small.

I am searching

for myself

my now departed soul

has fled too far

Oh if only I could reach...

Remember-

but I cannot see

my mind is blind

the door is closed

and time runs on

until the end

which will soon come.

Every breath

one less that

I have left

Every heartbeat

is closer

to the last

Every second

nearing the grave

I see the tombs

of those who've passed

I implore them-

Can not one of you help me?

Can not one of you hear my cry?

Can not one of you ease my pain?

Can you show me the way?

But they are fools

knowing less than I

They can't love me

They can't soothe me

They can't heal me

Can you love me?

But is there love

Love I've never known

in a universe so vast

And I am but one

small insignificant being

Among millions

I keep walking with you

without direction

Lost souls

making a

confused and frenzied

path unto the end

A part of me

is missing

I left it

somewhere on

this road we make

paving it with tears

it left me

on a moonless night-

My soul

I feel I am

drowning in

the ocean of man's tears

that never seem to end

Will we ever find

each other,

my body and my soul?

The thoughts

inside my head

they are not mine

No matter how I try

to shut them out

I can still hear

They speak to me

They tell me that

I'm damned

and their laughter

Oh the laughter

full of hatred and disease

I laugh no more

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is the longest poem I have ever written and is affectionately known as "Ramblings of a Madman" for obvious reasons. I wrote it after my grandpa died. It finally ended what I refer to as "The Dark Ages" (when I did not write any poetry or music and felt uninspired). It's basically just a bunch of random thoughts put together. Not a great poem but has sentimental value. 2004.

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