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What kind of fool am I,

To be so wrecked

By the way things have turned out?

I feel so dumb...

Completely blind to the truth

I find myself,

Everyday,

Trying to climb out of her...

Of all the good things and times

I can only find myself stuck

On that last piece of shit email

And one shallow text message!



I was almost honest with myself

When I thought she had been the one

For me...

Did I dissapoint you???

Or let you down?



It took every ounce

Of confidence I had

To forget regret.

And now,

The eyes behind the mirror tell me

That I'm tearing myself to pieces

Banking on the chance

That there are better days,

As I crumble, inch by inch,

Day by day...



But I look around

At what I have

And where I am.

And I think...



I mean...

I've made every wrong choice

A human being can make...

I pissed away my childhood...

Believe it or not.

I grew up way too fast!

And I find myself trying to regress

To what,

There's no going back to.



And lately,

I can't even stand

The face I see in the mirror

Because what we shared

In our moments together...

Was uncomparable to anything

I've ever known...

And seemingly, nothing in this world

Has ever existed,

Without it's opposite.

And so, the bliss from the perfection

Of what we had,

Has been replaced

By the obnioxious taste

Of discomfort

When I think of her!



And it's the kind of day

That seems like it will never end...

Cause I've felt the same,

For days now... Weeks... Months...

And I am left here...

Stagnate.

In this mundane existance

That I once called my life...