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When did it start?
Maybe it started when I met death as child.
Being only seven; my mothers friend Kay
whom I quite grew close to as a child,
Had cancer and passed away in the span of year.
Not wanting to go up to the casket, yet my mother made me.
Seeing Kay there, I broke down and cried.
Death's realization had me.
Which I knew, I would meet again and again.
Or maybe it started when I was 8.
We moved to a new town and I started school.
There was a girl in my class that I liked,
so I decided to write her a love note.
Well, she came back to me with another note.
An angry expression on her face.
Spelling out I hate you.
Be still my trembeling heart.
Hold back that quivering lip.
That painful lump in your throat,
With those foggy watery eyes.
Or maybe it was when I turned ten,
and I got to celebrate my golden birthday!
A bunch of people were supposed to come.
Yet, nobody came.
It was then I realized how special I was.
So much pain, yet understanding.
Sensative little boy, you feel to much.
You've become afraid to trust.
Realizing this world is a bust.
You've got your walls.
You've got your drugs.
My false bravado.
I like me, but I know I'm hard as hell to love.
Which is why I'll soldier on.
Helping those who can't help themselves.
Yet always, miffed. Always.
That heavy intimate love which resides in my heart.
Will it ever see the light of day?
Will it ever shine on one?
I am just afraid I will hand my love to the wrong.
Like handing keys for a mint Rolls Royce,
to a two-year old. It's just dangerous.
"Men spend their lives in anticipations,—in determining to be vastly happy at some period when they have time. But the present time has one advantage over every other—it is our own. Past opportunities are gone, future have not come. We may lay in a stock of pleasures, as we would lay in a stock of wine; but if we defer the tasting of them too long, we shall find that both are soured by age."
Charles Caleb Colton
I cannot deny this quote to myself.
It's the road my love is on.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Which is where I will be.
Lost in my transient mind.
"Afraid of Giving it to the
"Afraid of Giving it to the wrong person?" Isnt that the most awesome part!!! Nah you cant give it to the wrong person. Its about giving any at all. Its warped but love is the bit that keeps it together the harder it is the greater your love. But it doesn't have to be great to be worth it. Hugss and good piece well written! Made me remember how lucky I am. Im not popular either unless im needed. I take it as a complement! ;D
Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS
"Well, it's love, but not as we know it."
<3
"Like handing keys for a mint Rolls Royce,
to a two-year old. It's just dangerous."
Much Love
Ashley
Sensate vs Sensational
We all have a bundle of emotions. I loved everyone when I was ten - at eleven I became guarded and began to close off, getting bad input - "I hate you" messages. To young to know what was happening, I wonder, even now, why it is so hard for everyone to love. Not utopian, just kindness as prerequisite to breathing. This is one fine poem. ~allets~
Thank you Stella
Perhaps if we have the memory span of a fish? lol I think theres pieces of our innocence that we lose over time that turn into negative feelings/memories depending on whatever situation we may find ourselves in, here in outer space. Or the lives we are dreaming. A notion has to first be cast into the minds ocean to create an emotional ripple thru the brain/body/memories/state of mind.