Dear dad

Dear Dad, 

I miss you

And I wish I could tell you how hard it is to begin going through what I'm going through. 

Even though I'm the one who made my life a mess

And you were the one who told me it would end like this

I still decided to make this bed 

And I'm so sorry dad. This is all my bad. 

But I often wish I never would have left my home 

Where you were there to catch me when I fall because now I stand, but dad I stand alone 

And daddy I wish I would have listened to what you said back then 

Back when I was still young 

And I had all those conversations everywhere 

I wish I listened to you back then and I could go back to when you were always right there

Because there's nothing I miss more now like I miss having you here 

Here with me in all my brokenness and glory 

Fighting. Fighting to fight the girl I used to be 

That girl seems so far from me, now. 

I wish I could find that girl and I knew how. 

But instead I am a woman. And the woman I am today is constantly falling apart but I am strong in my own way 

I'm trying to rebuild my kingdom which I let fall. 

And I am scared, I'm lonely, but dad at least know, and be proud

Because every time I fall I get back up and I stand strong. 

Dear dad

I'm sorry that I made my life a mess 

I know you were only trying to protect me from this 

As I sit here and ponder I must confess that these years without you is everything you said they'd be

And they have worn and torn and struck at me 

But all I wanted was you. I wanted my dad

To stand with me and guide me and hold my hand 

To help me find myself 

And fight with me the darkness of life. 

Daddy I've learned and I have grown

In so many ways since I've been alone 

I know every day you worry as I hear you pray 

That I would find my way 

So daddy let me just tell you

How sorry I am and that I love you 

And still today I don't always do what I know I need to do 

But I've been fighting and I've become so strong 

I've fallen and got up and I kept and keep moving on

I'm constantly learning from my wrong. 

Daddy I'm sorry for how I got so far away 

But know I miss and think of you every moment of every day. 

I didn't know it would lead to this by may be I did 

For you always told me you sleep in the bed you made 

But instead of listening to you I let your words echo and fade 

As they escaped from one ear to the next in my head 

I got myself stuck in a cycle of insanity 

Doing the same things over for a different result in vanity 

I know I was an insult to your name 

To be he woman I became 

But daddy I hope you still know 

And hear the sincerity in my words when I say I miss you

I've never meant it more like I mean it now. 

I hope you find the strength to love the woman I am today

Because that girl is strong and she's still fighting for her way 

But she's finding herself more and more each day. 

So dad I'm sorry for this mess

But know I am trying and doing my best

To make something better out of this. 

I love you dad, my dad you'll always be 

And I hope that you'll never stop loving your daughter, stop loving me. 

 

Aya 

 

 

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