July 2, 2017

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Dear John

I watched you. Observed. And you turned from sexy to cute, to beautiful, and slowly you took my breath away. 

I don't know when I started feeling this way

I'm not sure when it happened. It was kind of slow and it took time but all the sudden there was a time where I woke up and I looked over at you and just thought damn. You're fine 

It went from wanting to fuck to just wanting to impress you. Love you. Make you mine. 

All the sudden I was addicted to that crooked smile and I wanted to make it straight. 

Make it reach your heart and light you up

All the sudden you set me on fire and I just wanted to set you back 

I was Afraid when I first realized I didn't admit it to myself cuz how could

Someone like me get someone like you 

And how could someone like you possibly love me even tho you claim you do.

How could I be the man you need while being all you want

I know you deserve so much more than I give but I can't help myself 

I'm falling in love now. And I can't deny myself you 

I can't deny myself having you next to me

But I can't deny myself my space and my distance 

Which is why I'm resistant 

Because we're fire with gasoline we burn bright 

But where there is fire there is a flame 

Anywhere there's a flame someone gets hurt 

and who is left to blame?

Me? No that's too much. 

The blame fell on you as I fell out of love

My eyes opened wide and all the sudden I was no longer blind

The thing I didn't see before all the sudden hit me in the face so hard 

That I can't keep pretending anymore and I can't keep up 

I want you

I love you

But I can't have you 

Not as my own 

I don't want to claim you but I don't want to loose your love

It was easy to get but hard to find

And baby you're special

For real one of a kind

And you still take my breath away

But I can't have you and have you stay 

It hurts and burns and it's a little too much

And I'm not really all down for the drama and such

So I have to let you go

May be for now but may be forever 

 

But know baby girl I'll always love you. 

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