PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

I told myself a long time ago and I told you that I'd never go back but here I am

Finding myself in the situation I was in

With pain consuming my heart and darkness eating my mind

The red flags were always there but I chose to be blind 

But I see it now

I see you now 

I see the drugs and the momentary fixes wishing I was enough

And once again I find myself giving it all to not receive love 

To not receive what I've worked hard for 

Just like it was so many years before

I find myself not getting as I deserve and I'm empty

Wondering if you even wonder when you look at me

Do you see the fear for what we are becoming 

Do you see my light slowly dimming

And I tried and I still try to become numb

Poisoning my veins 

But it's all in vain 

Because I'm still calling your name 

I'm still haunted by who you truly are in my dreams 

But reality always sinks in it seems 

I'm still reaching for you to comfort my brokenness 

My shame 

But it's not ever going to be the way it was and it will never feel the same

Your pain comes before my own 

And even when you're lying next to me you leave me all alone

A stranger in our only home. 

I told myself I'd never allow myself to dive in so deep

And now I'm restless when I sleep 

Because instead of following my mind I followed my heart

I thought I could show you light but you covered me in the dark