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About a girl - Part 2.
It was fun at first
The freedom!
Her own rules
Her own kitchen
Bed linens
Home
School was difficult
To manage
9 am to 3:15 pm.
While working full time
In the evenings
At a bindery
4 pm to 12 am.
Homework done
On lunch hours at both places...
The house was a mess
And he was upset
He didn't come
Home
Instead went out
With the boys
After work
His friends
They laughed
They said it wouldn't last
She'd prove them wrong
Worthy
Determined
A Rebel
Strong
On weekend nights
It wasn't ok
That she was alone
But he said
She was to young
To go to the bars and clubs
And after all
She had housework to do
They'd argue
She'd cry and threatened to leave
He'd reply in his drunken state
"Where're you going t'go?
You can't go home,
Who'd want you anyhow...?"
His friends
They laughed
They said it wouldn't last
She'd prove them wrong
She was after all
Worthy
Determined
A Rebel
Strong...
I like the way you repeat
I like the way you repeat certain things, and how you experiment with rhyming patterns. I'm a bit "stuck" in my regular pattern so I think it's fun reading different poems.
I'm always lying, in fact, I'm lying to you right now.
Thank you
Thank you for your comment and for reading! I've written many poems that follow a rhyming pattern, counting out syllables, trying to follow a meter, sometimes they work, more often than not, they end up sounding childish- unless of course it's just there and isn't forced!
This series of poems will most likely end up being edited and revamped in the summer since I often give my raw work a little time to steep- I don't often allow anyone to read what hasn't finished percolating...
I don't know why I decided to write and post my raw material with this series...just seemed like the thing to do.
San
Peace. Always.