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Shifting Into Motion
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A hesitant breeze slaps my face
before the sun rises in the morning.
It is so sudden it alarms my
soul into self-defensive posture.
I kneel before a crucifix,
mumbling my morning prayers.
The Holy Spirit stumbles with
my sins. I'm awake and yet
still sleeping in the desires of
the flesh. As the momentum of
the mind takes over, the feeling
of hopelessness goes away. The
dripping of the tap in the room
next to mine reminds me of
the tasks that lay ahead. I rise
up from my knees and proceed
to the layers of my disguise. There
are so many faces to show to the
different people I will meet. One
minute I am smiling with the
laughter of the coffee shop gang,
the next I am sighing with the
whispers of the lies that must be
told to the people at work. This
is the normal state of things and
everyone of us knows the intimate
rules that balance our lives. We'll
fall into our roles like checkers on
a board and happily pretend that
everything is good. Night-time
will find me back on my knees
asking Jesus to blot the hurt away.
A hesitant breeze will harshly knock
me off my knees and I'll lie on
the floor in a pool of my own deceits.
After a time I'll go to bed, fall asleep
for the night and wait for the morning
to play the same inhibitions again.
