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I have decided to kill myself and tell no one
Creep off like an elephant in it's darkest hour
Slip away to a secret place known only to me and my many masks crumbling
Let everyone wonder where I have gone
Will I ever come back
Can they find me
I have decided to kill myself
In secret behind closed doors that no one will ever open
Protect my ivory from the harsh short comings of friends and lovers
Foes and enemies
Let my bones become a playground for the filth in the world
Because to be honest and true in my speech
Better my bones than my soul

Author's Notes/Comments: 

this was written weeks ago, on a private comment with beavis, I had decided NOT to post it because everyone would freak out and tell me to cheer up and panic, rather than realize that it is just a poem, words, and a metaphor for emotionally giving up on a situation. So no panicking, pep talks or such please, it is just a poem which was used to express to beavis how bad my day was, and how drained I was and to emphasize how important the smile his comment left on my face was.

he has a valid point, it is a good poem and should be shared.

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last updated 28 August 2012 - 7:24pm
©28 August 2012 - 3:54pm — running_with_rabbits
19 September 2012 - 7:35am — xMattx
xMattx's picture

I did kill myself

This is the ghost of Matt! Everything is pretty much the same, minus the fact that I have white-see through arms now. Seriously though, cheer up!!!!!!

<3

21 September 2012 - 2:52pm — running_with_rabbits
running_with_rabbits's picture

:)

:) lol

oh Matt my dear I love you dearly! also when you eat now food just falls to the floor and you taste nothing, that changed, just sayin

:) I am cheered up this poem is so four weeks ago :P

Much Love

Ashley

31 August 2012 - 7:27am — MyinsecureSelf
MyinsecureSelf's picture

Wow, brilliantly written. I

Wow, brilliantly written.
I love it ;]

31 August 2012 - 2:20pm — running_with_rabbits
running_with_rabbits's picture

:) thanks :) I am blushing

:) thanks
:) I am blushing

Much Love

Ashley

28 August 2012 - 4:01pm — Beavis
Beavis's picture

Genius!

For a Lady known for the skill and precision of her emotional scalpel, this is micro surgery! This is some of your finest work EVER!!!

"let my bones become a playground for the filth in the world
because to be honest and true in my speech
better my bones than my soul"

This is why people climb mountains!

28 August 2012 - 4:09pm — Beavis
Beavis's picture

Not everything written needs

Not everything written needs to be taken literally and at face value. We write to express ourselves, free ourselves, expose ourselves, and be more and less than who we are. Poetry is art, often raw, ugly, offensive, beautiful, moving sensual, erotic, neurotic, insane, but always art. Please remember, poetry is art!!!

28 August 2012 - 7:37pm — running_with_rabbits
running_with_rabbits's picture

this is why I love you

this is why I love you

Much Love

Ashley