the silence almost too heavy for my woozy body.
outside, kissing a cigarette, "goodnight",
i scuffled through the neighborhood. it was so quiet.
once i stopped moving, stopped thinking, stopped feeling...
i noticed the loudest noise.
climbing through my ears, rupturing the drums.
the creeking of my bones stopped for just a moment.
a lapse in times
where nothing seemed as it was.
i was nothing, but a speck of dust
floating. i looked up at the stars
and saw a thousand years of sisters
reaching down for me. all the fears
seemed so small. a numbing bliss.
smoke dripped from my mouth
and i heard one of them snicker,
"just a child to this earth
and already planning the great escape."
and yes, i know
the slowest form of suicide resides in each stick.
when will i stop? is it the weather
that has warped my heart so?
the bitterness clinging to flesh.
each shivering bump gives way to this despondency.
once so jagged and scattered,
my new exterior scarred and healing.
if you can even call this recovery.
oh, god, do you see me?
may you happen to glance at this retched soul
and see the vacancy in my gaze.
i've not a thing for you but this shell.
the pitiful excuse of a human being.
may you guide me through the years
and help me dry these tears.
i pray each night, you'll bring me home
for i have learned that i am no one's hero,
not even my own.
i looked up at the stars and
i looked up at the stars
and saw a thousand years of sisters
reaching down for me
… enjoyed this
this is touching and heart
this is touching and heart felt. So much emotion in these, words i feel
love these words