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The Day Things Went Wrong

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friends and life long things

The days things went wrong was when my life feel.

When she left me just standing there with nothing to say.

She walked away without that twinkke i knew she had.

She didn't even look back and say goodbye.

As i sat there wondering why.

Another came up to me and i flw away.

Lost in her bueaty of her eyes.

Now that im here i'm going to try and stay.

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last updated 12 October 2010 - 2:08am
©2 February 2005 - 10:23pm — romeo122
5 April 2005 - 11:48pm — casey (not verified)
casey's picture

that was confusing

26 March 2005 - 1:19am — Calvin Brooks (not verified)
Calvin Brooks's picture

I found 4 typos, and 5 capitalization errors.

15 February 2005 - 7:17pm — Fawn Maddox (not verified)
Fawn Maddox's picture

Hey this is a really good poem and i know how you feel. Check out my new one.

3 February 2005 - 1:51am — Daniel Brown (not verified)
Daniel Brown's picture

reeeaaallllyyy. That's interesting.

P.S. The last critique i wrote you wasn't directed towards you