Author Information
Abuse
She told me she met this wonderful man
“he’ll take care of us”.
I later met this man
I wasn’t a fan
His name was Wayne.
He brought a lot of pain. Don’t know how I wasn’t slain
He seemed like a nice guy at first
But that was just a curse, I would soon pray for a nurse
Cursed. my mother wasn’t home.
He threw me to the ground,
Kicked me around
Round and round till he would use his 400 pounds
Break all my toys like a hound. I was abused, bruised, leftovers and I was told I loosed.
Religion was used. Careful not to blow his fuse
Brought down Emotionally ,
I couldn’t take it physically,
Felt like I was screwed mentally
He got to both our heads
we were used
What is true? Are you? I still cant believe I grew
Enraged. I would never be waged
They were past engaged. All those lawns for his pocket.
I wasn’t even tabbed
Grabbed a screw driver and stabbed my mother with it.
That night before my first day of 7th grade
They walked into my room with a bucket and a broom
Demanding to know what I was hidin.
Acting like I had shrooms or somethin
Stored them in the garage
Had to be a mirage.
Sneak and pray I wouldn’t get barraged
Close to death row. Began thinking my mom was a hoe
take some of the toys back.
Take em off the rack
Hopefully he wouldn’t find a track back to me
But I wasn’t going to slack.
After I took my meds I would give them to kinzie
Who would throw me in a frenzy
Treat me as a friend but would make me dizzy
I stuffed a few in my shoes. I would get a bruise
It would cause a ruse. Id be taken on a fist filled cruise
If I couldn’t use them other people could.
I was forced to attend church. Wearing a bunch of Good Will merch
and take notes on what the pastor chirped as he was pirched
Every Morning was way too boring
The rain outside was pouring
Read the bible out loud.
Wish I could be touring
Wish I had a talent but I am sitting here mourning
Im not even dead. But I wake up depressed in the morning
Every Afternoon. Shame. Forced on my knees
I was the one to take the blame
pray to a god I didn’t believe in
Only thing that came
Was the thought of future fame
Dinner was always dramatic
An extra roll of bread made me ecstatic
His talk was always erratic
I wish I could cry in my attic
listen to him complain
I knew he was insane
Where are you kinz?
I thought you promised to keep me away from the pain
Multiple nights I banged my head
Against the wall to be dead
Wrote a letter to her
overdosing on asprin, couldn’t crush my skull
Fuck it I paid my tull
Grab a clothes hanger.
Get the closet poll
Fell to the floor.
Couldn’t break my neck
I only knew danger.
My friends left me cause I was getting stranger
I was a stranger. Jesus was never in a manger.
found out the banging was me,
found my letter and
scared me till I was white as sour cream
he beat me till I started to scream
Got married on my birthday
It was on a Thursday
My presents taken.
Where they at? I couldn’t say
He even gave cinnamon away.
This continued for 5 years.
A Nightmare
A Broken mirror.
I hated my aggressive stare
I lost all my hope.
No intention to care
In the school bathroom
Found a hand held radio
changed the station until I found 99.3.
I hid the radio and some earbuds Kinz gave me.
At night id await.
till I heard him snore and I would embrace my fate
Put one bud into my ear and listen to the world of hate
Managed to convince him
let me join the cross country team
made some friends
All their futures seemed to gleam
Treated me as if I was a normal human being.
Last day of freshman year
A courtesy award was near
Wayne bought me a suit and took me to it.
The only time in my life that I looked fit
I was one of the last people called to the pit
I wanted to run and pretend that I had to shit
Earned the Central Courtesy award.
Wayne was shocked. But he was cold as a rock
On the ride back he would nack.
Explained how I didn’t deserve it
how I should have sat in the back
Two Weeks later
another group of doctors
had me do some “tests”. Said I wasn’t a tater tot
They thought I was but now they thought I was not
I was Normal. No longer a bot
Doing pushups,
I was no longer defeated
At this point I was already heated.
I stood up to him. I was 16 and I was done being cheated
This was my life and I was tired of it being depleted
Yelled at my mom. In the office she was seated.
Then it was time to go. We retreated
