I was getting more and more aggressive.
Every day I was becoming too passive.
a counselor wouldn’t give.
Keep your mouth shut. Or I wouldn’t live

A couple weeks went by with a routine
of the counselor acting like I was a bean
my mouth shut. I acted a bit mean
I wasn’t even a teen. I was a stick so lean.
My face was green.

The counselor told my mother I needed to be put on a med.
But I wasn’t screwed up in the head
put me in a hospital for a couple weeks but
hooked up to an IV. I wanted to scream

it was so bad I smashed my head on a steel beam
I gained weight. got kicked from the soccer team
Everyone at school made fun of my appearance.
But I managed to find just enough endurance.

I started to have nightmares when I would dream
Eventually I saw some doctors
They just “talked” with me.
I wanted to scream.

They told my mom I had Autism.
I lost all my confidence and optimism
Everyday felt like I was trapped in a prism
So many angles but I was still in a prison

A mental Hospital.
Actually, more like a couple.
I remember the screaming at night,
My mom and step father became tight

I was in trouble and they became a couple
Being strapped to a bed, I could turn my face purple
Multiple shots in my ass, felt like months before I could pass
Everyday a shot in the booth

Wanting to wear a suit so I can look nice
In front of heavens gates.. or hell
Angels would have given me the boot
Dropped me like a deuce. Oh well.

I guess no one ever gave a hoot
Maybe life is a game.
I should just cock it and shoot
I was the one they blamed.

I remember my “roommate”.
The center mass. He was filled with hate
Believing these months were fate
Every night he would sing this song

about suicide. He would even pull out his dong
Maybe he thought it was long. But he was like a monkey
A tad bit chunky. A king kong.
Rubbed himself til he felt he was wrong

He wouldn’t even sleep.
He would just leap and sing things that were really deep
I wouldn’t make a peep.
“Suicidal, Suicidal, that’s what makes me gooo”.

Go where? The kid was choking on his big toe
He leaned over and told me his mom was a hoe
Top it with the constant screaming
A sound like a goat bleating as it gets dethroned

By a saw and hell.. maybe I need to reload
Cause my inmates drove me almost insane.
The pain would never go away.
Life is not an Xbox game.

Although my friend thought it was.
Russian roulette. A damn shame
My mother put me on the tracks
Got hit by this train

All I had to eat was a bit of grain
Some bread.
Pain stole the rest to get some weight gain
I was angry at my roommate for not shutting up,

Just a couple months ago the humane society got my pup.
The back of my head had a huge lump. I was too much of a chump.
Nurses came in and shot me in the ass with a needle til I was plump.
but most of all I was angry at the world.

I wanted to twirl around another way.
I couldn’t face what counseling had to say.
My mind began to whirl and swirl but
I couldn’t find a girl.

I would ask her out and give her this Pearl
But I’m a coward. But every once in a while I get that thrill
Eh, maybe I just need to chill.
My mind is Ill and my brain is locked away by a seal

Dimness.. I can’t feel. Numbness.
All I can see is this Dumbness.
I guess I’ve been having too much stress
“You need to go see this counselor”
Maybe she’ll help me..

or not because she cant even fix herself
she’ll throw me in another asylum
Give me meds. She’ll have me try em.
I got all these feelings and I cant express em or confess em

You just need to confront them. Fight them.
Light that mind on fire. Spit out your desire
Inspire. Then you’ll have people that’ll admire.

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