For the Reader Who Will Not Stay
(after a list of three truths)
I have pared the bread
to a single crumb,
so it will not weary your jaw.
I have drained the wine
to a thimble‑swallow,
so it will not cloud your head.
I have locked the third door
and pocketed the key,
for I know how you hate to find
yourself in a room you did not expect.
You prefer the garden gate:
open, low‑hinged,
a path you can stroll
in your lunch hour.
You prefer roses already cut,
vase‑ready, no thorns
to coax your blood.
Still— in the rafters of the stanza,
I hang small bells, and in the mortar
between these plain bricks
I press a coin, face down.
It will tarnish there, waiting
for the one pair of eyes
who sees that the wall is hollow.
.
Bells in stanza
Still— in the rafters of the stanza,
I hang small bells, and in the mortar...
we all love those bells in our stanza ringing our true meaning. Love this ... however the verse about the key made me stumble. Just a suggestion to smooth it a bit?
I have locked the third door
and pocketed the key,
for I know how you hate
to find yourself
in a room you did not expect.
The lines felt run on and not in the same rhythm.
With the utmost respect, I
With the utmost respect, I disagree. The locking of the door is a little more elaborate an action than the actions in the two prior stanzas, and therefore the rhythm is slightly different to give an "auditory" support to this. I applaud your keen ear for rhythmic detail.
Starward-Led [in Chrismation, Januarius]
Yes
I thought that might be the case. The stoppage. love your work.
Many thanks to you both.
Many thanks to you both.
here is poetry that doesn't always conform
galateus, arkayye, arqios,arquious, crypticbard, excalibard, wordweaver
This poem is, even in its
This poem is, even in its brevity, enormously powerful. Symbols (like the bread, wine and roses) are skillfully deployed without being heavy-handed.
Starward-Led [in Chrismation, Januarius]
Thank you so much. It's not
Thank you so much. It's not the easiest thing to write about. Most appreciated
here is poetry that doesn't always conform
galateus, arkayye, arqios,arquious, crypticbard, excalibard, wordweaver