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You Were Loved (for Juan)
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Scribbles on Life I don't want to say goodbye.
I don't want to cry.
All I want is for you to smile,
To know that you were worthwhile,
That you meant so much
To all those you touched.
Why couldn't you see it?
Why couldn't you feel it?
Why did it end this way?
How do I say what I want to say?
You were searching for love.
It was all you dreamed of,
For someone to see deeper than skin,
To love the man within.
I hope you know that I understood.
There was never a doubt that your heart was good.
Why couldn't you see it?
Why couldn't you feel it?
Why are we here today
Searching for words to say?
As I watched from the back of the room,
Surrounded by gloom,
Your mother sobbing uncontrollably,
Your father's head hung low in misery,
Sisters and brothers with tears in their eyes,
Trying so hard to understand why.
Juan, why couldn't you see?
It was always there, undeniably.
Juan, why couldn't you feel?
It was always so real.
So much love in this crowded place.
Each person with such sorrow on their face.
Each wondering what they could have done.
They've lost a friend, a brother, a son.
Now as you look down from above,
Can you finally see it?
Juan, you were loved.
I don't want to say goodbye.
I don't want to cry.
I don't want to be here today.
I don't want to see you this way.
As I gaze upon you just one last time,
Memories flood my mind.
I will miss you so much, my friend.
This is not the way it was supposed to end.
The tears well up and I start to cry.
"I love you, my friend. Goodbye."
