I used to be so happy
I had no need for drugs or this mask.
I wonder where the happiness went
And why it left.
I used to be more social.
I didn't need to please everyone continuously,
I wonder why that changed
And why you won't accept me for who I am.
I used to smile of my own free will,
I didn't need prompting.
I wonder why I only smile to make YOU happy now
And why I don't for myself.
I used to be different from this.
I was able to be freely loving, straightforward.
I wonder why I am expected to be so still.
And why others can't face it that I've changed.
I used to be full of life, hating death
I now embrace death, hoping to hurry it along, sneering at life.
I know why that changed
And why I can't go back.
I used to wonder what you meant by saying
That I was dark and bright
I think I figured it out
And now I don't wonder, I know.