A struggling goal

He'd rather be

A woodcutter

Than the King

of England.

Maybe he'd rather be

A god,

Than talked about

In the book.

I'd rather die

Than go on

Searching for

Some sort of life.

I should be living.



To ponder legacy

Is to hope what happens

When we are no longer here

To care what happens.

So I've tried my best

Not to care what happens.

The problem is

I am still here

To care what happens.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Please critique this poem.

View rashmiitz's Full Portfolio
Bryan Adam Tomimbang's picture

The first section started off well. Really good. From what I can interepret, it's about searching for self-definition, not of a definition provided for you by others. The only thing that put this poem to a halt was the second section. Kinda confusing to understand if you ask me... too many 'what happens' that put my mind into "huh?" mode.