A spring got stuck up his ass

I've had the same mattress for over twenty-five years.

When my teenage son was having sex on it, a spring went up his rear.

It went up his ass and it got stuck.

I caught him in my bed and he was out of luck.

I was very mad and I started to shout.

A proctologist had to come over to get the spring out.

I knew he had been having sex because he was wearing a rubber.

I tanned his hide and you should've seen him blubber.

He thought he'd get away with it but he did not.

If I hadn't been too cheap to buy a new mattress, he wouldn't have got caught.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is a fictional poem

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peculiar_poet's picture

LOL!Your ideas are shockingly funny and yet with a stronger impact because you have the skill to tie them together in rhymes.

BTW I read A Bird Shit on My Head too, among others, but it hung everytime I tried to comment, so I'm saying it here that I really admire your humor and poetry skills :o)