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I feel electric shivers

exit my body in the form of sighs

another delusional night

huddled beneath the sheets

feverous and disorientated.



Hear the static buzz

of the TV channel

no longer playing,

just a useless snow

that eases me a little

as I try to calm myself

no longer needing this sickness

that formed in my mind.



You caused this.

You tainted me.

You used me.



Empty feelings that used to run wild

now nothing more than a dull ache

within a body that cannot rest

sweating and shaking,

curled up into a ball for comfort

as I've no one else to hold me

to take away this pain.



The light remains on now

it flickers with each passing minute

waiting to die out

but I can't follow suit

because I'm holding on

Holding onto a dream that I long for

hanging on to his image

to help ease this depression

to take that silence in my head away.



You caused this.

You tainted me.

You used me.



You'll never know what I have suffered

since that fateful night not so long ago

because I no longer wish to talk to you

you hurt me deep

cut me even though I do not bleed

and you keep on in my thoughts

night after night haunting me

I'm tired of your image

staining my fragile mind.



I'll rest in a while

just try to sleep if only for a moment

and push you out of my thoughts

out of my life so that I can be free

and I won't have to worry

Won't have to regret times gone by

because none of it will matter anymore.