Watching with disconnected eyes as everything starts to break,
trying to catch the pieces before they shatter,
already so nicked that they are irreplaceable.
I had things in their place,
plans and laughter.
I guess I thought I was whole and healed,
that I was in a better position than a year ago.
Now it all comes crashing down,
bringing my carefully built control as captive.
I'm crying, screaming, hurting, and there seems no end.
Every time I gather a piece, another falls from my arms,
I just keep getting kicked to the ground.
Gather all that I can, hold it together somehow,
tape and smooth, staple, add glue and hope it holds.
I'm not okay, if you want to ask,
my pride won't let me tell the truth,
and I'd be lying if I said so.
I'm too busy holding it all at bay,
I'm running out of my temporary bandages,
I only have enough strength to make it through today.
It's all too hard, too heavy to bear,
but all I need is tape, glue and air.