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gandalf rocks
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a small amount of potential since you've turned away my chemical-stained hands and made it clear of your lack of intentions i guess i'll stop and retreat back into my freezing cold bathtub where nothing and no one can break the surface. i would have let you whenever your heart desired - what was up to you. i've decided that maybe you aren't real, you're an illuminated shadow following me at a distance. i've made mistakes i've forgiven and forgotten; now i am hollow. now i am pale and my eyes have lost their brightness.
I like this one a lot. It's really pretty and creates sort of a lyrical environment, but has kind of a frenetic feeling too...but maybe that's the run-on sentences. Either way, it works.