Torn Love

I know it's just a hunch, but could it be real?

Is it possible that all my boyfriends have cheated on me?

Even now the one I love is he cheating?

Why so much pain and misery?

Why release the demon within?

Can this be true is he cheating?

Oh no here it comes, my demon,

Out for revenge and pleasure,

My urge to cut grows as the demon releases.

The familiar feeling and pain,

The blade slicing open my arm,

The crimson rivers flow down my arm.

A sudden jolt to my body and I wake,

Had I been dreaming or was it real?

My white sheet now red and pink.

I see my reflection in the mirror, i'm so pale,

My black clothes make me look dead,

My ebony hair poker straight and long.

My body so weak and pasty coloured,

I think I have a problem,

Friend's and family say it's hormones, I know it isn't.

Thinking about my boyfriend again,

Wondering if he has another girl,

Hoping he hasn't, why love me, no-one else does.

The ice white of the paper,

The coal black of the pen,

And the broken red heart that tells the tale.

Crystal blue tears rolling,

Knowing he's cheating,

My heart shattered and gone.

I know i'm not a "pretty girl" or a slut,

That's what you all go for, what you want,

Never a goth or a punk.

The reflective silver blade in my pale flesh,

Sure it burns like im being branded,

But I genuinely love it.

I know he doesn't really love me,

No-one can truly love me,

It's because i'm not like the rest.

My white sheets forever stained pink,

My heart torn out and broken,

I'm never trusting anyone that way again,

This time the blade goes out the other end through my Radial artery.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is not aimed at anyone, I wrote this when I was single a long time ago, it should have been the first poem I put up, but it wasn't, I don't know why it wasn't.

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