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Death Wish “Lost Treasures Collection”





'In a world full of cruelty, I should be a saint

talking peace in a time of war and hate

free speech and civil rights, are what I debate'





Religion, it has to be by far man's weakest yet most mysterious creations since the dawn of our conception. Its a practice by mankind that had been and can be conceived by two separate nations with no other outside influences. a Village completely isolated from another will develop some kind of holy practice, weather it is believing in a God or believing in reincarnation. And Death will play a key role in this religion. Weather Religion is real or not, Death is by far the only certain thing you can look forward to in life. No matter what, we are all destined to die. Wither and wilt like the rose in winter. For as far back as I can remember I've had a fascination with Death, and the dead. the Mystery which lies beyond, I can remember one of my most earliest childhood memories, it was at my grandmother's funeral. My mother was crying leaning over the casket, I was little then to young to really understand what was going on. but I remember tugging at my mother's dress wondering why she was so sad, She reached down picked me up and held me, She then turned I'm not sure if she was aware of what she had done but as she turned with my line of sight facing opposite of her I saw Death for the first time, But a strange calming sensation came over me, She looked so peaceful, no more fears, or pain. I knew by my mother giving me many talks that she was not just sleeping and infact was dead. but still even that young I saw death, and embraced it's powerful conviction it has over us all.



Death is the only way out

Trapped in this hell

an Angel to a god who tripped and fell

numb, cold, hallow and pale

Death is my salvation

my answer to it all

Sleep till I don't wake

sleep till I can no longer hate

where my life is no longer your fucking debate

my emotions you sedate

just to tempt your eluding fate



Take me slowly to a new low

looking for something I lost below

but it was thrown to the ages

back with the mystics and sages



Trapped in this void

I can't escape I'm paranoid

I want to believe there is more

intoxicated and crawling on the floor

treated like the carnival whore



  For as long as I can remember I've fought with depression, as that only seemed to enhance my fascination with Death, and ultimately Suicide was soon to follow, luckily as I am still here I was no successful. but looking back now I never really went in for the kill, I have thought about it, on more than one occasion and sometimes multiple times a day. I had thought of Millions of different ways a man or rather myself could end their life. down to painless to extremely painful. When you are drowning in your own recess of your mind, Suicide can seem like a end all solution to your problems, I believe the one thing that had kept me from going through with it was my stance on the fact I believe Suicide is the chick shit way to go out, No matter how you kill yourself if you plan to kill yourself that shows to me you are weak, and are best off dead anyway. I am not proud of my past but I will not sit here and deny what I had gone through either. As I entered my teens I began cutting, a Ritual still practiced to this day. I will not proclaim myself to be an expert but I will share my experiences and views on the matter.

  It has been a time tested fact that pain can counter pain. Emotional pain is no exception to this fact, feeling depressed all the time can take its toll on a person. Mental pain can almost be as painful as physical pain. In the Sense of disrupting a persons focus and concentration, If there is no outlet for the person to release their frustration their mental distortion, it could cause them to have a physical break down. A lot of people have found that cutting, is a way to vent that pain as well, by inflicting physical pain upon themselves it drowns out silences the mental anguish they feel, even if its only for a short period of time, and the side effects are well less then appealing. I am found guilty of this as well, Its not something I am proud of saying but again it is part of my history and to deny my history is to deny my very being.



Death is the only way out

chasing a dream thats not real

of a life they will only try and steal

wishing to feel

wishing to take this last pill



'death is my only way out

struggling just to stay alive

struggling just to survive'



Tired of a life I did not want

tired of a dream that wont come true

tired of wishing for you

hating love, loving the pain

screaming out your name

I'm crying, I'm dieing

Sick of all the lying

sick of this game

its all the same



I prayed for salvation

all I got was damnation

prayed for your heart

all I got was torn apart

now I'm lost in your sea of despair

hating life I just don't care

hating you just to be fair



'I'm falling, my world is collapsing

closing in all around me

suffocating till I can no longer see

no longer beautiful, no longer free'



I'm hating you, I'm hating it, and everything

I made the mistake

in giving you my heart to take

I made the mistake

in knowing I'm easy to break

its all fading fast

this was not meant to last

now my heart shatters like fragile glass





To the final heart beat of life, and the release of your dieing breath. The question is not believing in Religion but rather would you open your mind to any and all possibilities, when you are laying on your death bed. Will you let your mind breath? your thoughts escape into the Night with the stars and the moon. No one can tell you what lays wait for us when we close our eyes for the final time, no book, no man, just your own convictions and morals, And the only question you should ask yourself was 'Did I leave any regrets' for this is your one 'god' given right to live, Why live it with anything other then happy memories? its your life, live it, breath it. Enjoy it. One day your number will be drawn, and your time will come to leave this world. How will you go out? will you leave behind a memorable legacy?



When all your cities are burned to the ground

and the echoes of the past are the only sounds

how will you be remembered?



Will your testimony live forever?

The laws of man and creation

will not save you from extinction

In the Sands of time

In this moment were in our prime



My mind is an empty sore

withering on the wood floor

everything went morbid and decay

pray the lord my soul to take

for I will go to hell today

I wont ask for forgiveness

when I'm condemned to all of this



consumed by the never ending pain

this dance of violence in my brain

twisted and deformed

I've become a disease to conform

my soul stained and torn



I am a cancer to the mind

death following close behind

everything morbid and decay

it's the price I had to pay

it's to late to be saved



I once struggled through a Death wish, a time in my life I care not to look at now but many lessons were taught to me during that period of my life. When I close my eyes I can almost hear the symphony playing out in my mind. Dark thoughts, tormenting voices, memories long buried and forgot. I have managed to cope with many of my dark unsettling thoughts, Everyone has a dark side I know this from personal experience, yet in a world where everyone, man, woman, and Child are alone, Sometimes it is easy to forget you may not be so bad after all.



Through it all, Death will remain one of my biggest fascinations and yet at the same time hold some of the darkest thoughts my mind will ever retain. Here on this sacred of planets, Life had manged to form, intelligent beings, walking and talking. Using their minds to invent marvelous mechanics.

We have surpassed many odds as humans we have adapted to survive in the changing ages, Every day we evolve that much further in advancing our knowledge of our lives and the universe in which we live in.