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fantasies
a dear friend asked me last night what were my fantasies.
reluctantly i told her, because i believe in honesty & transparency.
" i fantasize about becoming wealthy, saving people, winning races & being a super hero".
i fantasize because in reality i feel less then zero.
on the outside i'm happy, i smile, laugh, joke & talking to others tends to make them happy.
on the inside i'm self loathing & feel so inadequate, which makes me feel crappy.
but i'm not here for myself, i'm here for my family, friends, my children & you.
so trying to make people happy is what i aim to do.
when i'm talking, joking, helping or laughing with someone i'm not in my own shell.
& fantasizing about the things i do helps me live in my own hell.
it's important to fantasize, maybe they'll come true.
if our fantasies were to come true we'd be in heaven, a heaven for me & one for you!!
