The grandeur of the past long faded,
So is my gratitude for every situation,
Dissipated, sucked down the riptide-
I drown incapable of even screaming!
The decayed gray mermaids feast
Upon me with the sharks when I die,
Then I am born into yet another lie.
A heart-stopping depiction of
A heart-stopping depiction of despair so complete that one is "incapable of even screaming". Your images of being devoured burn deep into the brain as you successfully transfer that inner death.
I never assume that all poems are autobiographical, so I'll simply say this a crushing and mournful and amazing work of art.