Author Information
All the Best Poets Sit in the Smoking Section:12
INT – PANCAKE HUT, TABLE SIXTEEN – NIGHT
JEFF is back at table sixteen. His pen is on a short vacation while he explains the complexities of his relationship with THERESA to SARAH and EVETTE
JEFF
Theresa said I didn't ‘love her right’ …although I never loved anyone more, I just didn't love her correctly.
EVETTE
What did she mean by incorrectly?
JEFF
Well, Theresa also suffered from depression.
SARAH
Also? You mean you did too?
JEFF
Actually in her case it was manic-depression. But I didn’t know that.
SARAH
My grandpa has that CD.
JEFF
Jimi Hendrix.
EVETTE
(confused)
What?
JEFF
‘Manic Depression.’ It’s a Jimi Hendrix song from 1967-The CD Sarah’s grandpa has.
EVETTE
(still confused)
Oh-kay?
JEFF
Never mind that… I hated talking with Theresa on the phone because most of the time it was like I was the only one talking.
(awkward pause)
I’d talk for a while, ya know, hoping for a response…
(awkward pause)
You know, like ‘mmm-mmm’ or ‘uh-huh’ …but nothing!
(awkward pause)
Sometimes when we were on the phone I actually wondered if she’d fallen asleep!
(awkward pause)
When I told her ‘I’d better be going’, she’d cry ‘No, keep talking; I just need to hear your voice’!
JEFF pauses once again and looks towards both of the girls.
EVETTE and SARAH give blank stares.
JEFF (CONT’D)
It was nice to feel wanted but it was also really frustrating.
EVETTE
(finally nodding)
Uh-huh…you mean like that…what I just did when you paused?
JEFF
Yeah, like that! Exactly. How refreshing! About the only thing these long monologues did was help build my vocabulary!
EVETTE
See! There’s always a silver lining…
SARAH
Under every rainbow!
JEFF smiles, then continues in a more serious tone.
JEFF
I mean I knew she was depressed but we really never discussed it. And then, one day right before my birthday, she called me up and was more talkative than ever. It was great! I said ‘boy, you sure are acting manic.’ All of a sudden: Boom! That was it. To her, pulling the actual word ‘manic’ out of my vocabulary bag was tantamount to calling someone with Down syndrome a ‘retard.’ She broke up with me on the spot.
EVETTE
Over the phone?
JEFF
Yep.
SARAH and EVETTE
(in unison)
Nooooo!
JEFF
And on my birthday!
SARAH and EVETTE
(in unison)
Nooooo!
SARAH
Because she had Down’s syndrome?
JEFF
No, no, I just used the word manic! The only explanation she could give me was that I couldn’t love her correctly.
SARAH
How sad.
EVETTE
When did this happen?
JEFF
March of ninety-seven.
SARAH
Wow, I was only fourteen years old!
JEFF
She married this Mexican guy named Javier three months later. He hardly speaks any English.
EVETTE
Well he won’t call her manic. ‘Histerico’ maybe.
