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a rebuttal by DaddyO

You can’t submit to me, can you?

For I need you to respect, honor and obey me. I want you to submit to my will for our mutual benefit. Can you do that for me?

I am not a service Top, but I am a service Dom. This means I do want what you want, I just want it played out the way I want it, and done the ways I desire.

I do not want the person who submits to me to be intellectually inferior. I prefer to consider each of us intellectual equals who may just have different knowledge to offer in unique areas and who can learn from one another.

I want someone who is proud to serve me. I want someone who will stand beside me as comfortably as she kneels before me. I want to not only help you grow in your submission to me, but for each of us to help one another grow in our deepening D/s connection.

I want you to be obedient to me. If I make unfair requests, call me on it. But as the person you submit too, I don’t want to have to prove myself any more than I already have in order to earn your submission, nor do I want to force myself by using violence or physical means to get you to obey me. These methods may be used as ways to dominate you in physical S&M scene play, but logic and reason should be the only weapons needed to gain your obedience.

Both of our lives at times have been car crashes, and we have had our share of bad luck, but under my direction I want to take charge and start making decisions that will uplift both of us. This truly excites me. All it takes is for you to allow me to do truly do that. Please do not retreat as soon as it starts to feel uncomfortable and you sense me exerting more control.

I am a "Daddy" Dom and therefore playful and sometimes juvenile. Yes I play games and the world is my playground. Especially FetLife. I want you to be submissive and enjoy that playful attitude with me. That is one huge reason I desire the babygirl archetype.

Yes, I am a hedonist, so my preferences change depending on who I am hitting on. This is because each and every person is different and I see different roles for everyone in our lives. This applies not just to our lovers either. Every person in our lives has different things to offer us and different temperaments for us to adjust to and utilize.

Sometimes these lovers and play partners will seem to directly benefit me more than you. Other times it will be obvious I am arranging encounters for your paramount enjoyment. It matters not who benefits more, for in our polyamorous arrangement both your happiness and pleasure and my happiness and pleasure equally benefit our D/s partnership. Due to our D/s arrangement, and for me to successfully display compersive feelings, all such decisions must be made by me.

I want someone to submit to me who is fully aware of my wants and needs and knows exactly how to meet them. I think I spell them out pretty clearly, and when I don't, I am more than willing to take the blame for less than stellar communication.

I want my food cooked the way I want it cooked, not the way you think I would like it. I want your perfume to be the perfume I pick out for you, not the perfume you feel good wearing because it is a popular brand. I want your hair to be the length I want to see it at even if you like it better a different way.

Yes, I want to know when you are uncomfortable doing something for me, or if you are allergic to the perfume I choose for you, or if you don't know the recipe for a food I enjoy. And you can give me all kinds of input that you don't think you look good with long hair, but I want it to be clear, I want to be the one making that decision. More often than not I will make the decision you also want. Remember my statement earlier about being a "service Dom"?

I offer consistency. This is extremely difficult for me to do when you change your mind about how much dominance you will allow me. If that is always fluctuating, I cannot be consistent in my domination. I need consistency from you too.

I want commitment. I need to know I’m part of something. Just as you desire the knowledge that I am there for you to build you up and quell your insecurities, I need to know you are counting on me to make those important decisions for us.

I need someone to dominate, and to be able to give and deny you things. Yes, sometimes you must sacrifice. The responsibility is mine. I want to be the one to accept the responsibility and in doing so when things work out positively, you will get the accolades. When things work out less fortunate, then I will take the blame. Submit and give it to me! Allowing me to be the decision maker for us completes our D/s dynamic.

I do not like subtle attempts at manipulation one minute and then when I hold fast to my word, hearing cries of "you don't compromise", the next.

And I am sick of my many attempts to show true rational compromise going unrecognized, or worse yet, being denied they even happen.

I need the person I dominate to understand what honor is and to always act honorably towards me.

Please respect me in public.

Do not interrupt me or answer questions that I have asked another person. I may want to know what that person's answer was. When I want your opinion or answer to a question, I will surely ask it. And you know I quite often do!

Respect me on FetLife. Do not post things contradictory to me. If I say something you disagree with, come to me and discuss it.

Respect me among our friends. Defend my opinions and decisions or keep quiet and consult with me in private.

Honesty is so important; whether good or bad. I need to know the person I dominate will tell me the truth when I ask her for her opinion, and not just what she thinks I want to hear.

So that’s why I’ll wait and hold steady until this person comes along or someone I already know hones these traits and displays them to me.

*Fetlife specific reasons

I want you to enjoy my cock all the time. Not just when it is inside you hitting your G-spot. Not just when it is hard. Please respect my issues with erectile dysfunction and the fact that I am of average to below average size, and realize that though my insecurities are many I still feel confident enough to display my sexuality freely online just as any other person. Why is it that when a chubby woman poses naked it is deemed as promoting "positive body image" but when a chubby man with an average to below average size penis displays himself in an artistic manner, it isn't?

I also enjoy putting pictures up of my various play partners, and aftermath of play scenes both past and present. This shows my playfulness, diversity, fetishes, interests, the skills and techniques I have developed and the creativity I have displayed. Displaying photos of my various BDSM play partners and their marks and hot artistic action images attracts those who are also exhibitionists and is not only a fetish of mine, but is in line with being open, honest and not deceptive. Sure, to others it appears as I am boasting of my "conquests." But when have I ever made that declaration? If you don't want to be a member of that club, then I don't want you to be my submissive.