Author Information
"Clergynity"
by Jeph Johnson
I asked a religious friend of mine, who is a big fan of Pearl Jam, and is always trying to convince Eddie Vetter abortion is wrong,
(so are condoms, by the way)
how many 33-year old virgins he knew.
I was trying to argue that being a devoted Christian for ten years made me some sort of weird freakish outcast.
No one believes me anyway, and then when I try to explain myself I get smirks of disbelief.
I was told by my church-going buddies (who'd lost their virginity in high school while "backsliding") that some girl will really appreciate it some day.
Now all I meet are single mothers, divorcee's and seventeen-year-old's who are more experienced than I am.
...and they could care less!
I asked him again:
"How many 33-year-old virgins do you know of?"
He smiled.
I had forgotten he was Catholic.
