PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

I lie here awake at night

Wandering inside my mind

Filled with sorrow and contrite

I’ve been left so far behind



And I just want to bleed

To numb this pain

For my heart to be freed

My mind to be sane



Just want to cry

To drown my thoughts

Rest my tired eyes

From all the sleep they’ve fought



I wish I could scream

But I wouldn’t know what to say

I could go to the extreme

And kill the pain away



Been too tense, so edgy

I want to turn the knife

But I just don’t have the energy

Tonight to end my life



So I cry, and stare at the ceiling

Blurring all my senses

I can’t shake this feeling

I have no more defenses



I’m so tired, I’m aggravated

My mind is shutting down

No normalcy, I’m so frustrated

At myself for what I’ve shown



I wish someone would hold me

And tell me it will be alright

Wipe my tears and kiss me

Rock me through the night



I wish you didn’t know

Everything I’ve revealed

And that I didn’t show

All the love for you I feel



If I keep writing my thoughts

Maybe this wouldn’t be real

And all the emotions that I fought

Wouldn’t really be what I feel



Maybe I’m not here

And you’re just inside my mind

And my eyes never felt the tears

That stung and blurred them blind



And my leg isn’t marred

From the imaginary knife

My heart is not scarred

This isn’t really my life



Maybe I really eat and don’t gain a pound

I’m not really afraid of a little weight

That’s why my food always stays down

And I don’t throw up what I ate



That’s why I didn’t tell you about it

Because it’s a problem that isn’t there

This knowledge, you could have done without it

But it’s something I so willingly shared



I wish my secrets were little lies

That I could prove were wrong

But they’re real like the tears I cry

Every night now for so long



I wish I could say I wasn’t in love

And that it doesn’t bother me

Not to have reciprocation of

The feelings I’ve let you see



I wish I could say I was just joking

About how I lost my weight

And that it wasn’t caused from choking

Up everything I ate



And if I could show you my skin

And the scars all disappeared

I wouldn’t have to cover them again

And pretend they were never there



But that’s not how it goes

Reality sifts its way through

And everything I’ve let you know

I’ll always regret sharing with you



Not because I have no trust

But because I’ll scare you away

Like others who’ve left me in the dust

But promised I’d never be betrayed



If you don’t mind, I’ll just step back

Silently love you from afar

So if I should foolishly go off track

I won’t suffer another scar