Author Information
Time flying by
I Look out the window what do I see?
I see a beautiful tree, bright and green,
the summer sun glazing down, clouds floating by.
I Look out the window what do I see?
The moon brightens the midnight sky, showing me that same old tree.
Looking out the window what do I see?
I see the sun and the different color leaves, falling from that same old tree.
Looking out the window what do I see?
I see the moon light shining, shimmering down on the cold dark ground.
Looking out the window what do I see?
I see the sun and the beautiful glistening snow, setting on the branches of that same old tree, we know.
Looking out the window what do I see?
I see the starry moon light shining on the that glistening snow.
Looking out the window what do I see?
I see the sun shining bright, the green tree anew, the nest of the baby birds chirping happily they do.
I look out the window seeing the night coming in.
I wonder what is happening before my eyes.
all these visions i realise
is time flying by.
in reply
You asked for advise, i'm not suggesting I'm any authority speaker on this, however this is how i would suggest you amend it, if you like another s opinion
I Look out the window what do I see?
I see a beautiful tree, bright and green,
the summer sun glazing down, clouds floating by.
I Look out the window what do I see?
The moon brightens the midnight sky, showing me that same old tree.
Looking out the window what do I see?
I see the sun and the different color leaves, falling from that same old tree.
Looking out the window what do I see?
I see the moon light shining, shimmering down on the cold dark ground.
Looking out the window what do I see?
I see the sun and the beautiful glistening snow, setting on the branches of that same old tree, we know.
Looking out the window what do I see?
I see the starry moon light shining on the that glistening snow.
Looking out the window what do I see?
I see the sun shining bright, the green tree anew, the nest of the baby birds chirping happily they do.
I look out the window seeing the night coming in.
I wonder what is happening before my eyes.
all these visions i realise
is time flying by.
Thank you ever
thank you ever so much. I'm going to edit it and I'll add poem by poet610 and Edit by yoda or would you like me to use your real name?
Editting
I would want you to post it as you want, without any mention of me editiing it. This is your poem,my suggestions, hopefully have just made you more comfortable with it. My suggestions have only been brought about from your original work, again it's your work. If I've helped and you like my suggestions I'm really thankful that you have considered to apply them.