Author Information
Why Don't I See
Why don't I see the hurt you are doing to me,
the pain I feel is so real, I can't believe.
I love you soo much no other words can describe.
I would walk to the end of the earth if there was one, just to see your smile and feel your arms wrap around me. You say you love me I love you too. but yet you say you love her as well i understand the feelings you had when you were with her were special but now it has ended I know her and I know you. I respect you and your descisions. thats why i say when your divorce is all over and we are married she can come live with us only because she has your son but why can't you see the pain you bring to me I see the sorrow in your eyes i can feel the pain you feel just by being beside you and knowing that you are going through alot. I love you but why can't you see.
I liked the first two lines, they even had rhythm and were going somewhere.
But when you broke loose into the emotional explanation of your romantic quandary, man, that was entertaining.
I think it needs more work if you want to express your feelings in a lyrical, poetical way. Readers would then take it more seriously and attempt to identify with your message.
But if you felt better after telling us this story, I'm happy for you.
Ken
My Secret River
Hey Ash~ its me again I like this poem too(Why Cant You See) its good because I understand. I heard all about that situation and it fits!
It's a very emotional piece...if you want to see "long" poems, you should check me out (lol). Last but not least it doesn't matter if we (the readers) like it or not. It's your poetry and you wrote it. Always write for yourself. As I said, it's emotional and sad, but those were YOUR feelings, therefore they can't be judged right or wrong. On another note, I thought this was a nice write. I wish you the best w/your situation...