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You used to be so silly,
We used to laugh so loud,
Best friends we were inseparable,
Spent summer days gazing into clouds.
Now you're always so serious,
Dividing your time paranoid and vain,
Applying your fifth coat of eyeliner in the mirror,
Always drunk with boys and acting insane.
I loved you when you were so vulnerable,
I know I didn't always jump to your side of the fence,
But when someone thought it funny to mock you I'd be the first to your defence.
I know you’ve had to grow up,
Congratulations, you’ve done it faster then me,
But no amount of alcohol or make-up can conceal the child in your eyes I sometimes catch and see,
Asking me to remember how we used to live life together,
No inhibitions and forever free.
I think this is probably the best of your work that I've read. It's really good - personal, and that's probably the best thing about your work. The only comment really is the same as I've said before - don't let the flow run away with you.
The use of language, the content and the emotion behind your poetry is fantastic. It's wonderful to see the honesty and expression here. I don't believe that all poetry has to rhyme and flow steadily but reading poetry with a pattern and set rythym is easier than where the rythym changes.
Overall though - excellent.