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The Load’s Prayer

Clark Steven Lupton

March 6, 2005



Lord, let there be unity and peace

Keep me safe while on the road

Eliminate world hunger

And please let me not run out of load



Because when I need to make an important call

And I have to use my cell phone

I wouldn’t know that I was almost empty at all

And when it happens I let out a groan



Reduce diseases and suffering

Let nobody be vexed

But above and most of all

Let me send that text



It makes me concerned

And makes the vein in my neck throb

That if I don’t answer their texts

They’ll think of me a snob



And it embarrasses me to make a call

When I have to borrow a friend’s cell

And I have no control

When his phone bill begins to swell



They say that I run out of load

Because of over use

Like calling and texting overseas

But that is no excuse



The use of my cell phone has nothing to do

With the oil output of Iraq

The simple matter is

I love to text, send pictures and yak



For example it would be awkward

If I had a date

But on my way to the bar I run out of load

And I can’t tell her I’ll be late



And then it turned out

That I liked her so much I glowed

But she’d be there all by herself

All because I ran out of load



And some other guy

Offers to buy her a drink

So she’d leave me for him

And I’d cope by seeing a shrink



And I’ll need to make calls in an emergency

Like in case I’m driving out of town

Then in the middle of the night

My car would suddenly break down



I would hate it if I were harmed

Or worse, if I’d end up dead in a graveyard

Just because I ran out of load

And had no extra card



But the more cards I have for my phone

The more I’ll use it

So no matter how much load I have

It’s as if I always lose it



You brought the locusts to Egypt and parted the Red Sea

Okay, so I get it

But couldn’t you also please just grant my phone

Three hundred pesos in credit?



Because if you don’t

I’ll have to beg, kill and rob

Or even worse, to buy cards

I’ll even have to get a job



So if it’s an emergency

Your blessed credit may save my life

And help me to contact the lady

Who could be my future wife



You could fill my phone with load

Until cards make my wallet swollen

But it might not even do my phone any good

Because it’ll most likely end up stolen!