Earthbound Supernova

 

Feeling crampt in a 

kingdom without end,

 

starving in the illusion 

of want,

 

crouched in time's box 

while you own forever, 

right down to the 

last star writhing

in the crumbling dawn. 

 

You forgot your identity,

that's all.

 

Sleek sail of moon 

slashing through the 

tunneling void of our 

fears . . .

 

Take it, it's yours:

this strength you found at the

lotus feet of pain,

take it though the past weeps 

like a stringed instrument 

behind you,

but you don't turn around

because you know now,

you know they don't 

own you:

 

these fossilized stories;

these keychain gods and monsters

on your way to Ithica;

all these unnerving, rattling

things, almost forgotten, 

like spare change;

all your gawking 

shadow selves dissolving

in a gold-infused new day,

 

finally untangled from your 

sobbing yesterdays

 

when love was a lute played

in garnet and dreams. 

 

So much better now 

that it's real

and not wailing for more

and you're joyfully empty

as that moment

when the dozing world

receives the universe like

a net.

 

Open your eyes now

 

and see that you

are Light. 

 

Patricia Joan Jones

 

View patriciajj's Full Portfolio
SSmoothie's picture

Just WOW!  Hugss 

Just WOW! 

Hugss 


Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS    

"Well, it's love, but not as we know it."

patriciajj's picture

Thank you for the hugss and

Thank you for the hugss and encouragement. They are a bright spot in my day.

 
J-C4113D's picture

In this poem, Patricia has

In this poem, Patricia has given us an epyllion, a poem that feels like an epic, and yet does not require the large space that most epics occupy, or the verbosity that most epics present.  I figured this out when I reached the poem's center of gravity, which is the line "on your way to Ithica."  This is allusive not only to Homer, but to Constantine Cavafy's poem, Ithica.  The poem's implied speaker is advising the poem's reader, almost as if Homer had written the Odyssey in the second person voice in order to help Odysseus on his journey.  (I am not a big fan of Odysseus, so I am glad he is actually not the primary character in Patricia's poem,)  "Fossilized stories" and "keychain gods and monsters" will be met on the way to Ithica; thus forewarned, the reader will know how to deal with, or to avoid, them while moving toward Ithica.

   The poem has two different mechanisms that work very smoothely together, and very efficiently, to convey the poem's message:  the use of metaphor and simile; and the sense of forward motion which is maintained by an unfolding catalog of descriptors (which is where the metaphors and similes function).  Momentum is also maintained by the shortness of her lines.  During my reading of the poem---and I was certainly bedazzled by it---I thought of the images moving upon the screen like a kind of kalaidoscope. 

     Here I must confess something:  although I admire Cavafy enthusiastically, and many of his poems have touched my life exquisitely, I do not enjoy his poem, "Ithica."  I think----and I am not writing this simply to curry favor---that Patricia handles the same sort of poem with much more success.  Cavafy's poem sounds like an invocation; Patricia's is, instead, a conversation.  This makes the poem more credible and more grounded in the quotidian experience that each of its readers bring to it.

    


J-Called

patriciajj's picture

I'm ecstatic that you

I'm ecstatic that you perceived an epic quality in my journey, that you appreciated the accessible style I chose and that you took the time to deeply, and I mean deeply, analyze my vision.

 

I often break rules with impunity, so it's greatly satisfying and vindicating when you interpret a poem's intent with precision and acceptance, then define it with such contemplative brilliance.

 

Your encyclopedic knowledge applied to my expressions is a great honor and a treasure.   

 

J-C4113D's picture

Thanks for that reply.  This

Thanks for that reply.  This afternoon was a little rough for my health (or what's left of it, lol), but I was so excited by reading this poem that I wanted to get my comments onscreen as they formed in my head.  You brough to your poem quite an ancestry:  Homer, for the epic quality; Catullus (whom I failed to mention earlier) for the epyllionic form; and Cavafy for the use of Ithaca as a journey metaphor.  This, alone, is quite an achievement; but then, with the precision of your metaphors and similes (your word combinations never fail to amaze me), you knocked it out of the park and into the realm of High Literature.  I am glad to have seen this poem in the short term; and, in the long term, many others will see it, and respond to it, and talk or write about it---of that, I am confident.


J-Called

patriciajj's picture

I'm deeply troubled by your

I'm deeply troubled by your discomfort, yet amazed that you continue to bring so much positive energy and ravishing poetry to this site in spite of it. My prayers go out to you in your time of distress.

 

Your illuminating comments remain a lifeline to my slowly emerging collection. Sometimes I have no motivation to write, but persuasive feedback like this reminds me that poetry is a calling as vital as any other.

 

Thank you kindly for enabling my writing habit. God bless you always and in all ways.