What am I gonna do
Where am I going to
Boy, do I wish I knew
Oh, how I wish I knew
Do you remember when there was a day
When all we would do was just laugh and play
Now it's all work and no play
Man, I just can't live that way
So I act like a kid, is that any crime
Age is just a number and a matter of time
I won't dress fancy and I'm not sophisticated
Friends say it's time to get emancipated
Well that I can do without
I say it without a doubt
It's time to grow up but I'm just not ready
I stare into their eyes but my gaze isn't steady
I can't be what they want me to
To myself I remain true
Unaffected by the craziness around me
The childlike approach to life really astounds me
Author's Notes/Comments:
written long ago but oh so true...I swear it is crazy cuz I always felt like I would die young and I am still here...but don't feel older...my age in numbers does not reflect my stuck at 19 and why that age, dunno except maybe cuz it was the age I started working in theater and film which is where I need to be...creativity...I need to trust that doing what I love the money will follow as a fellow artist told me once...it always worked out before...but a couple years back I got thrown off my path cuz film work practically stopped and I was working 3 pt jobs, one still the theater I started at Apollo...and my fave manager came back from LA after doing a production stint in LA for a few years and managing another theatre...I hated to leave and they wanted me to stay but to work split shifts FT at my real job and then night time a few hours...when would I sleep but I don't do that much anyways so might not have really been a problem...but I need to sleep more...anyways I took the job that paid the most and was closest to home...and that is where I am currently...not true to myself...
innocence is for the innocent.
we wish to remain lost in ourself..
but the truth is we are no longer innocent.
the truth hurts as it sets us free.