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dark night of the soul

utterly stabbed uncertain

in my latest role

his love once so gloriously georgous

yet hateful and so distantly cold now

when he chooses

he serves as dominion over my joy

I am fool to the lowest order

for allowing such treason upon my spirit

just how does one fight the rippling of inner pain

in my anguish I rise to do wounded battle

with this continuous blister upon our marriage

I am woman drained of her most precious elixer

that singular ability to fully understand

just what makes this love so hard for him

to hold his own actions accountable to

I feel I am less of a wife today than I ever was

before

and having such knowledge only further butchers

my poor lonely heart

I was not even worth a solemn goodbye.........

(Feb 23,2004 2am)