I don't deserve you
you know with every stupid crazy thing I do
(and all because I love you)
this I truly now know
I tell you you are my world and you are
the best part of it in comparison to all that I alone am and I know that since you are so wonderful
that is why my foolishness I know in the end is ok
but still it doesn't excuse the way I've been or what I've written
it only makes me more humble here before your sweet eyes
I'm so sorry Satya all I can promise and deliver upon is that I will try harder to be better
every year at New Years I make the same resolution TO PAY CLOSER ATTENTION TO THE SMALLER DETAILS! and this year I can see will be no different
only I'll have to make that resolution much more strongly
cause I in my hurt and anger and idiotic confusion have done you a terrible injustice and that now hurts me cause my words will hurt you as you read them.
but I pray maybe not
cause you are a better person than me and since I've phoned you you know where they came from and hopefully my love and confession to my wrong will be your shield of love to protect you from hurt as you read them
unto the God I know is above us
for this I do so solemnly pray
I love you so Satya! thank you so much for being so much better in this love we have for each other than I obviously could ever hope to be
If I could
I'd make myself into a better more deserving image of me
just so I could give it to you
proudly without any shame for my bad mistrustful behavior
as you deserve so much better
but I thank God everyday that you lowered your standards
and chose me.........
Sept 22,2001(914am)