PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

~Hot as Hell in LA~ 

Satan rose from a nap feeling kind of dizzy and weak. He decided to take a short walk and get some fresh air.  A little ways down the street he came upon a bar, and decided to go in. 

"Hi. Said the bartender. Hot one, ain't it."

"Yeah. Replied Satan. Give me a double-shot of bourbon on the rocks." 

While the bartender poured his drink, a guy wearing a floppy-brimmed fishing hat walked in and sat two stools down from Satan. 

"Hot one out there." He said.

"Yep." said the bartender, and gave Satan his drink.

"Gimme a beer. said the man, then looked over at Satan and said: This heat reminds me of the time I was in Kansas. It was so hot that day, an entire field of corn started popping. White popcorn flying everywhere. When a small herd of cattle saw it they thought it was snow, and froze to death. Ha! Ha! Get it?"

Satan looked at the guy and said "Yeah." Without smiling.  

The Prince of Darkness does not appreciate humor.

The bartender walked into a back room and closed the door. Satan took a cigarette from a pack then searched his pockets for a light.  He didn't have one. 

"You got a light?" Satan asked the man.  

"No. I don't smoke. Never have." Then the man moved over to the stool next to Satan and said: "That reminds me of a gal I saw in here the other night. I asked her if she smoked after sex. Se said  "I don't know. I never looked."  Ha! Ha! "

 Satan downed the rest of his drink and wanted another, but the bartender hadn't returned. The man sitting next to him then said:

"A hot, July, day like this will cause some to go crazy. Did you hear about the cows talking about the mad cow disease that was going around? One cow says to the other: "I sure hope I don't get that mad cow disease." The other cow says: "I know I won't get it."  "How can you be so sure?" asks the other cow. "Because I'm a duck." the cow answered.  HA! Ha!  I got a million of 'em! As a matter of fact, I have an ETERNITY of 'em! Ha! Ha!" 

Satan looked down at his empty glass and knew it would never be filled. He looked at the cigarette between his fingers and knew it would never see fire. He looked over at the soul sent by his replacement and knew he had another joke coming--and another, and another...