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I See Venus

~I See Venus~

 

I see Venus

is drunk again this morning.

 

A-totter on her orbit, 

white, wine-stained dress,

ankle length and out of place

in the Blue Room.

 

The bartender

looks up at her from the sports page:

 

"It's not still dark, he says,

it's just not light, yet."

 

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last updated 30 June 2021 - 7:54pm
©30 June 2021 - 7:50pm — owlcrkbrg
10 January 2022 - 8:51am — saiom
saiom's picture

  if the Blue Room is the sky

 

if the Blue Room is the sky and venus is the morning star

is her wine stained dress from proximity to red mars



 

 

3 July 2021 - 4:29am — patriciajj
patriciajj's picture

A powerful and evocative

A powerful and evocative snapshot of a bar scene and a woman who, we conclude, has been there all night. The whimsical and vibrant personification of Venus at twilight says so much about the woman, the mood, the moment.

 

There are also volumes unsaid in the bartender's statement. Such an ingenious, true-to-life and atmospheric sketch. LOVE it! 

3 July 2021 - 2:02pm — owlcrkbrg
owlcrkbrg's picture

Thanks

Thankks, Patricia

 

I'm glad the poem works well for you.

"There is no good writing, only good editing."

30 June 2021 - 11:13pm — S74rw4rd
S74rw4rd's picture

I love poems that make use of

I love poems that make use of astronomy, and this is one of the best that I have read---a lot of depth concealed in a few short lines.  Bravo!

Starward

30 June 2021 - 11:34pm — owlcrkbrg
owlcrkbrg's picture

Thanks

Thanks, Starward. Glad you enjoyed.

 

"There is no good writing, only good editing."