Author Information
Don’t Cry For Me
Shielded by the out pour of emotions, on the windows to my soul are thick curtains that mask the pain as I go through the motions….but don’t cry for me rather live for me, know that regardless of the inconsistency of family structure that surrounds me I will still be who God predestined me to be….wearing his grace proudly….I have to die to my surroundings in order to walk and live in his glory….many shiver when I tell my story of how during the day I am a typical young girl but at night I become a woman….receiving attention that was unwanted but I had no way to escape so I was forced to participate in this pre-meditated form of rape and when it was over I would hide my face then kneel down to pray, “Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take,”….this would slip from my lips reaching God’s ears as I clenched my pillow while crying tears, slowly letting go of my fears as I begin to visit that secret place in my dreams only to be awaken by the screams and shouts coming from the next room….I closed my eyes tight and covered my ears hoping that my dream would resume but there was no use as each slap became a punch, I never knew the reason for this abuse but from my mouth I was told not to reveal the truth about this harsh reality that has taken root and began to grow through the family tree but don’t feel sorry for me, save all your tears and cries of pity, I’d rather you thank God for me because now I am the voice of the child that endures quietly, the voice of the mother that longs to be freed from this battery….this doesn’t stop with me because there are lives that need to be reached across cities, helping to heal nations affected by this abomination that has made its way through creation for so long that it has almost become a way of life, hanging over families like dark heavy clouds….stealing the innocence of children like a thief in the night….this isn’t life, but no one speaks up until now….I have chosen to remove the clouds and restore the smiles that were hidden under heavy hearts….to bring back the sunshine that helps give each day a new start and a fresh beginning….don’t mourn over my past life because God was doing something in me….God has given me a new life where I am free to spread my wings and sing of the joy he brings….there are no more feelings of emptiness, no more thoughts of being despised….there is a new hope in my eyes and purpose in my life, there is no more strife, he has taken all the pain away so again I say, Don’t cry for me because I’d rather you live your life abundantly through Christ who strengthened me.
