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" After The Loss #2 "





After The Loss



My soul weeps oft' but silently.

It misses thee.  It misses thee.

Though I have much to fill the time,

My life is but a voiceless mime.

Throughout the days, into the nights,

I yearn and bleed, all out of sight.

There is no salve to sooth this pain.

I sleep and wake to grieve again.

What caused this gaping gulf in me?

My heart is gone.  It lives with thee.

I sorrow for the pain you bore.

I'm so alone my heart is sore.

So many times my thoughts take flight

To your sweet grave in darkest night.

My soul weeps oft' but silently.

It misses thee.  It misses thee.



Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote a version of this poem when Jim came to Georgia for a two month visit and we met and became dear friends.  I was in love with him, but never told him.  I didn't know that he loved me too.  We both knew he was sick and Jim didn't want to hurt me.  As he put it, "Jess, I'm dying.  You deserve better than that."  He returned to Indiana and my heart was broken.  After getting one letter per day and on some days two and three letters, using up a sack filled with phone cards, and finally realizing that now is all we have, Jim asked me to marry him over the phone from Indiana to Georgia.  I accepted, but later he still tried to talk me out of it.  He didn't want me to be "saddled" with an invalid husband.  As it happened, he went quickly and alone.  I came home from work to find his body.  He would have wanted it that way, but I miss him so much!  I had two wonderful years with Jim and I wouldn't trade them for anything.  If you're listening, Jim, have peace.  The trip was well worth the fare.

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last updated 11 October 2010 - 11:40pm
©21 May 2004 - 9:26pm — onelilartist
23 January 2005 - 6:17pm — Lesa Gay (not verified)
Lesa Gay's picture

Dear Jessica,

As I read through you links this morning it is getting harder and harder for me to type through tears. There is always a reason why things happen as they do, although it is not for us to understand in this world. It has taken me a very long time to accept that as fact.

You and your Jim were meant to share the time you had with each other here on this earth, and sweetie in the heaven's oh in the heavens, what a blessed reunion you will have.

My Love,
Lesa

23 January 2005 - 6:14pm — Lesa Gay (not verified)
Lesa Gay's picture

Dear Jessica, as I read through your links this morning it is becomming harder for me to find a way to comment. Not that your words are not beautiful, and your heart so plainly seen, but because there is nothing I can do to ease your pain. Love, Lesa

23 January 2005 - 6:12pm — Lesa Gay (not verified)
Lesa Gay's picture

Dear Jessica, as I read through your links this morning it is becomming harder for me to find a way to comment. Not that your words are not beautiful, and your heart so plainly seen, but because there is nothing I can do to ease your pain. Love, Lesa

29 May 2004 - 4:54pm — Kristine Snow (not verified)
Kristine Snow's picture

I am, of course, sitting here with tears running down my face. You were both VERY lucky people to have found each other.

Kris

28 May 2004 - 10:55pm — Rosemary J. Gwaltney (not verified)
Rosemary J. Gwaltney's picture

This poem is heartbreakingly good. The story, picture and poem together made me stop in my tracks. I am so sorry. So sorry.

23 May 2004 - 6:09pm — TREXPATTON
TREXPATTON's picture

On Shakespear's Sonnet #18, in B.V. About a lucky man.
~ ~ ~ ~
Stay lovely, you new Spring day.
Morn', noon, night, loneliness abide,
but Joy strengthens itself and me,
as Love eternal mellows Grief's stay.

Memories I choose and I'll keep strong.
My pallet is Beauty; all of its paints
wait application on this new blank canvas.
Canvas--new, brush--original, colors--memories.

Two things this Spring day shall not fade:
inhaling, I have the scents; exhaling, your name.
You walked around me, held me, kissed me,
laughed at but encouraged me; what a pair, we two!

We blended so well, through disimilarities.
The heart that truly loved me still lives.

"Poe" I'm not, nor "Rich" am I,
but I'll be famous, b'ye and b'ye !