Big Planes and Bigger Hearts
You watched me struggle all day with eyes
Much bluer than summer rain.
When I grew tired, I'd glance at your face,
Then I would start working again.
"I wike ayuh pwanes!" you'd told me.
So I'd bought the last four rolls.
Wallpaper airplanes to lighten your world,
Navy and red etched in gold.
You were asleep before I was done.
So I cleaned up and finished the room.
Crisp red cafes at the clean window sash,
So you could look out at the moon.
Your name in red letters on wall above bed.
"B-- E-- N!" you would read.
The furniture in place, your things in their space,
I tucked you in bed still asleep.
I'm telling you this so you'll understand,
When you come home next time here to find,
No airplane walls, no memories at all,
I've repainted that room to survive.
You may not remember how precious you were.
I was the adult in that room.
But I worked with your help for twenty long hours
So you could see planes and the moon.
Now everytime that I enter that place
Where my office and computer still are,
I don't want to think of my loving, sweet son
Who has moved to a new home afar.
We did a great job on that wallpaper, Son.
For twenty long years it withstood.
I hadn't the heart to rip it all down,
I painted right over it good.
It's easier now when I sit down to write,
To keep my own mind on the keys.
The airplanes are there, below the fresh paint.
I can see them if my mind's eye I squeeze.
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Well, Jess, that's pretty neat. I'm sure Ben will like it when he comes visit.
kat