I grew up in Youngstown, played sports, ran a lot, drank a lot, won a state championship in cross, watched my friends graduate, stopped drinking, overdosed on pills, met a girl, thought I loved her, made plans for the future, ran from those plans, got rid of the girl, made new friends, graduated high school, tried to join the army but they wouldn’t let me, went to school 3 hrs away to run from my past, failed some classes, started drinking a little again, started drinking a lot again, tried to join the army again but they still wouldn’t let me, met a new girl, got my own place, got some body ink, stopped drinking again, got cheated on a lot, got rid of her, realized maybe i gave up the right one a long time ago, started drinking again, changed majors, stopped drinking again, got new roommates, stopped hating home, thought about going back there, changed my mind, came close to packing up and moving to vegas, changed my mind, thought about trying to join the army again, changed my mind, found some ways to expand my mind, finally found some peace of mind, buried my blood and best friend, spoke at his eulogy and cried like i haven't cried in years, had to finally make my own decisions without his guiding hand, had some scares along the way, tried to find some peace in the fact that i spent twenty years knowing the greatest man in my life when every source of medical knowledge said he had a condition that should have claimed his life almost forty years ago, and then i finally remembered how to smile again ...