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Has it ever happened?

Been caught in that void?

Between life and death,

Yes and no.

Keep going or give up,

To love, or to throw it all away?



Hear the whispers,

As you run your fingers over the scars,

The wounds of their words,

The remnants of your cuts.

The mistakes of yesterday.



Wish the world was a pile of clay,

Mold to fit every need you have,

Realize he’s not bendable,

Realize he only breaks.

The world laughs at your mistakes.



Want to be dependable,

To be trusted,

Realized its fake,

You lost the man you we’re before.

Can’t find yourself in haze,

Lost in the maze.



Halls of smoke,

Mirrors reflecting someone your not.

The pink,

The music,

The need to avoid the jokes,

Their painful remarks.



You only realize too late that you shouldn’t have given in.

Shouldn’t have changed.

Miss the man you where,

What you became.

Tempers flare,

When you hate the life you lead.



Miss the finer things in life.

Where’s the man who likes to get lost in other states?

Someone who wouldn’t get bored walking around NYC,

To look at the architecture rather then the buildings.

Losing sight of all I ever wanted.

Caught up in the superficial.

Caught up in this love,

Only half the needs fulfilled.



Where’s the man who can sit on the beach,

And enjoy the waves crashing into the shore,

Rather then trying to grab a feel.



What happened to the person who would enjoy the plain?

The simple, the mundane life.

Me?



Constantly becoming what I never was to keep you interested.

Changing, for the worst,

Just to keep you near,

Why do I want you here?



You seem to hate everything I’ve always liked.

Politics, philosophy, photography.

I know what to buy you,

I know how to spend the money,

But what about me,

What about my dreams,

My needs,

My life,

Before you.



Stumbled onto the past,

Couldn’t see the vast expanse.



The old memories crashing down,

The old conversations,

How easy it was, still is,

To talk to my past.

Yet how difficult every word is with you…



Wish I could change you,

But you like MTV,

And the latest celebrity.



I prefer the design of the stone in the arch,

The bridge,

The history.



You look at the façade,

I look at the structure.



Yet there’s those fleeting moments,

The connection,

Its there,

Somewhere.



Deep inside the slight interest,

It’s kept me hooked,

Just to try to get it again.



So the question,

Where I am now?



When does this love become serious?

Or remain the fluffy pillow it has been.



Physically hot,

Mentally stale.



Can’t talk about anything I like,

Because you don’t give a shit.



Can’t stand to listen to you,

Because I don’t care.



How does that translate into love?

Into spending the rest of our lives together?



How?



Because somehow I can see it working out,

See awaking to each day with you in my arms,

Loving you,

And holding you near,

For the rest of my time here.



Yet what changed between then and now?

And what must I do to bring that around?

To make me feel like there’s more here,

To get rid of the façade of a relationship,

And see the real structure.